No Really, Thank You!
People always tell me, “you’re a trooper,” or “i don’t know how you do it.” And really, to be honest, I don’t know how I do it either. I have been judged, stomped around, criticized from head to toe, and been used like a toilet paper to wipe someones ass. You name it, I have probably have been through it. People are cruel, mean, and down right disgusting at times. There would be times where I wish I did end my life. But I didn’t, I got up, I brushed it off and you damn best believe I kept on truckin’. Within living 19 years of my life, I look back at it and I realized how strong I actually am. and with that being said, I want to thank the people who has made me this “trooper” that I am today. I’m not sitting here to brag, or for you to feel sympathy for me.There’s two reasons why I’m doing this, One, I want to simply thank the people that got me here and two because I want to tell everyone, to stop complaining so much how much their life sucks, because there is probably two reasons why you feel that way, you either did not get what you wanted or you are not doing anything to change it.
So here’s a following thank you to those people who help me become who I am today.
Let us start with the kids from my catholic school in the Philippines, thank you for insulting me that I’m fat, that no one will ever want me in their life, and for well bullying me to the point I had to bribe you to stop when I was in 5th grade. Thank you for showing me that even though I’m in a catholic school, where there should be nice and civilized people, some of the girls that went there were such hypocrites of their own.
Thank you to my parents. Thank you for always putting me down. Mom, as much as you do spoil me (no sarcasm there), thank you for calling me fat and obese this Thanksgiving because it was the shit I needed to hear on the day where were all suppose to be thankful for something and because it shot down my confidence level all the way down to the negative scale. This is also the reason why I did not want to go out Saturday night, or any night after that day at all. You have taught me that I can’t even rely on my own family for support, unless its materialistic support of course. Although I do want to thank you guys for always giving me whats good out there. However, I still don’t think it gives you the right to call me names and such. But no matter how much you guys criticize me, I figured its probably how you guys express your love for me. I guess.
Another group of people who I want to take time thanking is the following people: Rachael Newcomb, Darlene Errickson, Hailey Wade, and Dana Love. I honestly can’t thank you enough for EVERYTHING especially my senior year of high school. Seriously you guys tried helping. You really did. and I appreciate that wholeheartedly. But you guys bailed. And when everything was collapsing right above me, you guys could not have left any faster. Therefore, I had gone through it alone. I thought friends were suppose to be there for the good times & when they turn into the best times and for the bad times & when they turn into hell times. Sorry that I assumed that our 3 year friendship throughout high school was not about bailing out on each other. I guess I was wrong there too. But since you left me alone I was left to deal with my own problems myself. So because of you guys, I became so independent. So really, thank you for walking out of my life when I needed you the most.
thank you to anyone that has called me fat, loser, dumbass, stupid, ugly, unworthy and treated me like complete shit. thank you because of you’re unnecessary judgement, i have become the person i am today and I have proved all of you wrong so even though I should be saying fuck you, I really want to thank you and your ugly personalities. :)
These were the people who put me down but in the end have made me stronger. The next few people I’m going to thank are the ones who actually gave me the wake up call that I’m much stronger than I think I am.
On top of my list is the only person who has stuck through it ALL with me, Kyle David Evans. The only person that I could count on to never leave me. He showed me what a real friend is. That NO MATTER, how much our life goes down the crapper, we know for sure that we got each other. He has been there for me from heartbreaks to family issues. Before that tear falls from my face, he’s there to catch it. But does this mean he’s in love with me? Most Definitely Not. Were there for each other like siblings. Nothing more. Nothing less. But Thank you for being my rock, my go to guy, and the person who will never judge me by my appearance and will accept me for who I am.
The second person is the love of my life, Charles Thomas Fox. Ladies, if there’s any advice I can give you about knowing if he’s the one, all I can say is is that when you meet him, you’ll instantly know. Your heart will let you know that this is the guy for you and he is the reason why it never worked out with anyone else. There’s no need for check list, no need for taking a test on it to see if he’s the right guy for you. You yourself will know. And once you do, DO NOT LET GO. It is rare to be completely madly in love with another person now a days. So once you know, you keep that shit. But to my wonderful boyfriend, Thank you for sticking with me with my horrible mood swings, death threats, and my parental issues. I could not have asked more for a great man like you to have come in my life and sweep me off my feel like you do. Thank you for calling me beautiful everyday and thank you for never stopping to show how much you love me. Even though we’ve been together for the longest time, you always kept being sweet, being thoughtful and being a gentleman to me. Thank you for showing me that I am worth someone’s time and showing me that I am worthy of being loved by another person. I love you forever and a day darling. I really do.
And last and most certainly not the least, my bad ass motherfucking ex roomate, Jaimie Michelle Oliver. :) She has taught me how to stand up to fucking people and tell shit how they really are and not sugar coat it. This chick, has taught me that people who judge me are either low lifes, jealous of what i have become or hate me because they arent capable of what Im capable of. and to be honest shes probably right down to the tee. lol So thank you Jaimie for being a great friend to me and showing me the real deal. i needed it. :)
And also I cant forget the new friends i have made in college, they showed me that I can make friends that wont use me for anything but they will be there for me no matter what. :)
I have never felt more prettier, more confident, more lively than I do now. It feels liberating to finally let these grudges out after years of getting stomped on and put down.
On that note, GOODNIGHT. :)